Class, Test, my hope

Last week, interestingly enough, the class met in the computer lab to work on our rough drafts. As I was tediously typing up my first draft, I began to hear a woman yelling. It was Mrs. Clinch. She began to convincingly order the students not to speak while doing their work. Obviously many were not. Despite her warnings, the class continued to converse, which is when Mrs. Clinch gave her second warning. You could see the exasperation in her eyes and conviction in her voice. Had we not fell silent, surely our computer lab privileges would have been canceled. I have seen Mrs. Clinch slighty annoyed, but I have never witnessed her being angry. Hopefully, it will not occur again.
On Thursday, I felt as if I were experiencing a male’s menstrual cycle, not to be disrespectful in any way. After finishing my internship at Sapient, I drove home through the thundering rain. Even though I hydro-planed three times, I made it home by 6 o’clock. I imagined to myself, I have a few hours to study for Calculus, AP Spanish, and the Winesburg Ohio Test. How was I supposed to study for all these in a few hours. Unfortunately, I could not. After studying for Calculus and Spanish until one o’clock in the morning, I had just begun studying for Winesburg. My mind was racing with the consequences if I fail this test. AP Literature was my lowest grade, yet my favorite class. I was determined to get an A on this test. As a result, I stayed up until 4:30 studying as efficiently I could, ironically. When I entered the AP Literature class, I tried to get slight hints how the test was for the previous class. I saw that many students were staying after the bell, an extremely bad situation in my case. “Hopefully, this test would not take as long for me,” I thought. Unfortunately, it did. As I was rushing in panic-mode, I managed to finish. But before I started the test, I noticed that the test was a little strange. It hardly included material from the novel! The test was all about reading a chapter from the book, and responding to questions about it. Although a few had to do with the novel as a whole, it seemed insignificant compared to the amount of time I studied for it. I was sad.
Despite the depressing week, I have to continue. The final draft is due on Wednesday, and I cannot be hindered by minute obstacles. I hope that my work will pay off in the future so that I may enter a college that will bring me to a brighter future. Until then, I will endure.

Fish Bowl

Yesterday, on Friday, the class had a fishbowl discussion with Tandy, Adventure, and Death. Although my group discussed yesterday, I was not able to provide all the insight I wanted to due to lack of time. As we were discussing Winesburg, Ohio, Anirudh, Aditya, Shannon, and I talked about some of the general events that occurred in the chapter, Adventure.
First of all, I thought that it was strange when Alice Hindman talks about her step-father. She says, "His story is an odd one. It will be worth telling some day." Why does Sherwood Anderson describe him like this to us? What is the purpose? Why not just continue on with the story. This one sentence boggled my mind, because I could not figure out why Anderson had to state just a redundant sentence. It must have SOME significance. If anyone does read this post, please respond, because I have no idea why this occurred.
Additionally, this chapter almost seemed like a fairy-tale to me. Her step-father is a carriage painter, which may allude to Cinderella. Alice became a weaver of carpets. Aladdin anyone? Moreover, this entire chapter is about one girl waiting for her one true love to free her from her loneliness. There is even one sentence that exactly describes sleeping beauty. “Her imagination, .like a child awakened from long sleep, played about the room. Even Shrek relates to this. Additionally, throughout the story, Alice is always seen dreaming for a better life, better future, and in all, better everything. Unfortunately, Alice never finds her prince charming. How sad...
I also noticed another thing. Whenever Alice was on her knees, she was always in a state of embarrassment. Whenever she was praying, she prayed after the fact that she was embarrassed from some realization about herself. "It is not going to come to me. I will never find happiness. Why do I tell myself lies?" In the end, Alice is last found on her knees, when she runs outside nude embarrassed from her own actions.
Finally, I noticed that Sherwood Anderson used repetition in a superfluous manner. “…whispering words over and over… growing louder and louder…” This is another style that I did not quite understand. What was the purpose of this over-use of repetition? I first thought it was to emphasize these scenes more, but later it seemed like something more. There was something that I missed. This repetition has some deeper meaning that I cannot figure out. Hopefully, someone will reply and give me some hint that may allow me to further understand this story.
Lastly, what is the purpose of the last sentence? “…began trying to force herself to face bravely the fact that many people must live and die alone, even in Winesburg.” Why does Alice say this? She is still young and is nowhere near dying. I understand that she has come to terms to her own situation, but why does she say that people live and die alone? Even though she has been in loneliness this entire chapter, she only reaches her late twenties and has plenty of time to make acquaintances. She is not being realistic. Another interpretation I had was that she may end in committing suicide. I guess it’s up to the reader’s imagination to find out.

Winesburg and a note for future seniors

Today in Mrs. Clinch’s class, we discussed how to read literature with a deeper understanding. As practice, we read a few chapters in the novel, Winesburg, Ohio. While we discussed certain relations between characters, I continued to think of a repetition that occurred within the novel. “Up and down” was a quote that I saw frequently within the novel. Why was this? What did it represent or symbolize? I could not pull this out of my head and continued to ponder… I asked Mrs. Clinch what this could symbolize, but apparently, she had not noticed the repetition. “Strange,” I would think to myself. It is not strange that the Mrs. Clinch did not notice the repetition; It was eccentric in that I took note on something that she did not. It is almost as if this quote was meant for me.
As I came home and continued to think to myself, “What does this repetitive quote mean?,” I continued to adventure into the deeper meaning that I believe Mrs. Clinch wanted the class to dive into. The only result I could come up with is this. Up and down is redundant. By going up and coming back down, the item or person is not moving anywhere; thus the movement is superfluous. In this novel, I believe that it could represent that the characters are stuck in their own worlds and do not know what they should do. For example, George’s mother seems like a psychopath who cannot live herself. She prays that her son become nothing like her father; however, she also does not want him to turn out like her. What she desire of him? As you can see, she is stuck in her own fairy tale and cannot decide what to do.
On another note, AP Literature is not what I expected. Although AP classes are intended to be a challenge, I could never fathom what I so far experienced. It seemed as if the entire school semester was coming down on me, crushing my bones and suffocating from the workload I have to endure. Despite these struggles, I manage to continue and as my friends tell me, “Keep on truck’in.” It is actually very abnormal. Usually, the classes that were hardest for me were the classes of the teachers of whom I detested. Because I hated them so much, I refused to learn from them; coincidentally, difficulty was inescapable. On the other hand, Mrs. Clinch is, strangely enough, pleasing. Even though my grades have already plummeted, I cannot help myself but yearn to learn from her as much I possibly can. This year, Mrs. Clinch is one of two teachers who is an inspiration to me and gives me a motivation to learn for the sake of learning, not grades. Although, my personality makes it inarguably hard to learn at my maximum capacity, I will, with no doubt, try my best to learn as much as I can from her. So future SENIORS, take note that Mrs. Clinch’s class will be Hell. But it will be a hell that will make your future a paradise.

Winesburg, Ohio + stuff

As I go on reading in Winesburg, Ohio, I am thinking to myself "Why?" Mrs. Clinch said, "I never assign books that I love. The students will tear it apart until there is nothing left." I see now that she was referring to students such as me. She says that this book is her child, and she cannot bear anyone being its vampire, slurping the life out of it until it is cold and dry: dead.
Before I began reading, my mind ran with doubtful thoughts. Physically, the novel seemed no thicker than a children’s book. I could trash the packet without a second thought. Visually, the novel did not seem complex from the amateur-looking crayon sketch. Could this truly be Mrs. Clinch’s favorite novel? What makes it seem so special? As I soon found out, the novel proved my dubious thoughts incorrect.
I read the first chapter. Indeed, Mrs. Clinch understands her methods of teaching. Despite all my judgmental insults, I could not help but glue my eyes to the pages. Due to our recent summer reading, How to Read Literature like a Professor, I can explore things that I could never fantasize. How could this be? Did I really learn something from an assignment that I hated? I continue to read. I try to hate it, but I cannot.
The first chapter sketches a scene in my mind. An old man can only relax in his bed and feels youngest (happiest) when he is lying in it. This one chapter relates to me to such a personal and microscopic level that none could fathom. Don’t worry. I am not talking about my bed. In my heart, I wish I were this old man. Although my bones would probably be grinding and my muscles twisted up like a twizzler, I actually think it would be worth it. Do not ask me why, but I yearn to be in a state of relaxation, a state of mirth, for I have never felt it. My heart has always been weighed down with responsibility or stained with guilt. With my heart hiding in the dark, I cannot alleviate myself of any burdens because I am walking blind; I cannot see the stains and dirt that I am covered in.
Unfortunately, I have to go off topic for this is not the place for me to empty my heart. This past week, I jumped with glee because I finished my “books on file” project. Even though I initially thought it was a waste of time, I try to say to myself, “It is for the best.” Remember where this semi-quote came from? (Candide) I realize that these projects will aid me on my AP exam and hopefully gift me with a “5.” Truthfully, I question myself if I can even pass this exam. So far with what my grades have shown, I feel as it is almost hopeless. I have never taken a class so difficult, yet so exhilarating. More difficult than BC Calculus, yet more musical than band. This class presents a lot of mysterious outcomes, and I pray that I reach my land of “milk and honey.”